The News News Network

"Where News Gets It's News"

Breaking the News

The News News Network has been hacked by the Newer News News Network.We are currently working on a fix. However, this is easier said than done, as we are getting multiple different sets of attacks set at our server, as people dislike the newsly news being delivered by the The News News Network. Our article The Good News About Newspaper was really the spine that broke the camel's back, as the company behind the Newer News News owns a subsidiary company, Newer News Newspaper, which is the largest newspaper company in the tri-state area. The publishing of our news hit their stock hard, being big news to everyone involved.

These are no unfounded allegations, either, as the Newer News News Network has been sending out very volatile threats through their emailing service, "Newer News, but Mail" (NNBM). One of the coworkers at the The News News Network has been recieving these threating emails and shared some with us, however has wished to stay anonymous for fear of his children and wife. Here are some of the emails he recieved:

"Take down your website, you are fake news"
"Our news is newer"
"Newspaper smells nice, and it is better than screens"
"We are the new news, and we are here to stay"

I am not a robot (?)

However, not all of these emails were as coherent. it seems like the people over at the Newer News News have deployed an algorithm to automate the sending of malicious emails. This is evident in some of the other emails recieved :

"aq2zwsedrcftvgjmiko,lpkomjnhgbyvtcfrdetfgy7huj9kiop"
"newsnewsnewsnewsnewsnewsnewsnewsnewsnewsnewsnewsnewsnewsnewsnewsnewsnewsnewsnewsnewsnewsnewsnewsnewsnewsnewsnewsnews"
"aeiou"
"its old."

It is currently theorised, as stated previously, to be an algorithm. It is however unknown to either be that or a human that is not paid enough to do the task he has been dealt. If this is the case, we can only hope that he is being paid well.